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{May 14, 2013}   We are the mom we are now – by choice, never without.

We become the parent according to the how our own family allows us to be, of how our own system in the house revolves. Yeah, I must say, part of it came from how we were brought up – as we modified the system of our own parents or not. But above all, I believe, it is a choice. I have read several articles of parenting, especially of being a mom. But there was one I came to like not because it reflects me in totality,though I must say, some part of it
( as what my kids said- I let them read it and asked them to check which one describes me and which doesn’t and why- I came go get 1 & 1/2 characteristics out of the six.. Why there was a 1/2? Because one of which not totally applies to me as in ” a bit this but not totally – unanimous decision I didn’t refute 😃)

Anyway, that article made me ponder my “momminess”. And realized the point that what we became from what we had hoped we should have become didn’t actually not forced nor out of choice to become what we want. We stand at this very minute being a mother of our kids, because primarily, our own set up allowed us to from the very moment we decided to get married – be a wife. As we start a new life, a new home, so as the rules, the scenarios and the blueprint of how things will run inside the new life we started. Right? Then becoming pregnant, so the system however is gradually extending to the forthcoming member, from husband and wife to a family per se – foundation is little by little built….. How will… What will I do if……when should I ..etc…

I also consider the husband’s ability to accept, modify, deny or negotiate a certain rule in which he finds uncomfortable or unacceptable. It depends on how we are spoiled as I should say, by our hubbies to let most rules go on our way and either negotiable or NOT, gives us a “whole 101% say in it – though mostly…. ends up with a simple- no rebuttal- NO or YES ☺)

So, what part must we say left us on an empty hand? Like a fire – which left you the choice to of course to put it out and NOT stare at it and wait for step 1, aha, step 2, okay… Great, step 3…. We react, we move, we set base on what is given to us, reality based truth of ” what am I in this and by knowing, we react on it. A wife or mom won’t dare impose rules on let say: dinner is always on a dinning table and never else where one may want to sit. Mandated, allowed, therefore practiced. But if an objection arises….. A truce inevitable. If seems applicable then negotiable… a rule has now modified…. See? “How we are allowed to do so”

So never a matter of choice. We have it. It is a matter of taking it or not. If I say I want to be this kind of mom, I would, because I know basically, I can, simply because I know it is within & under the kind of husband I have, the kind of father he is, with the kind of life or status right in front of my reality plate.

In totality, I would say, I am the mom and the wife I am now and owning every bit of it. After all, ain’t we not just the queen? The Ace!

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