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{January 22, 2013}   one of the mommy day realities

Didn’t I mentioned that parenting isn’t that all attainable with such perfection? Because nothing could ever be in perfect situation. Excellence, perhaps is what we all are up to in each of our endeavours, from the time it set in into our mind.  This, dear parents is what I will attest this very day. I had a melt down recently. Yes, part of life, certainly and inevitably typical.  No matter how much we love our kids, there always comes a time when your buttons  are to the max pushed. At times, little by little–  doing it one at a time As I was having the litany, I can’t help but remember all the thoughts I have shared of how happy I am being a mom, parenting, motherhood. Trying to see the logic of my action at that very moment. Not with the intention to convince myself I was doing the right thing (to speak and point out what was going on wasn’t acceptable anymore though a bit on a high pitch and with a GGrrrrr….). I know it was certainly time to call their attention and by that means that they have been given the allowed warnings/reminders  outpour with tons of patience (twice to thrice the warning and/or reminders, in a Primera tone. Then came the Secunda then the Terceira way up to Quinta!  I have been dealing with my patience too. Never had I thought that as they grow older, the more they will be supervised, reminded more than like when they were preschoolers.  Though this scenario seldom happens , but when it happens, the quinta mode zooms!

What to be done in times like that? Or what do I do in times like this (I should say), I take refuge in the serenity of our bedroom  lock the door (as one will try to come in – mostly the 2 elder siblings poke the youngest to do the “heart-melting” strategy bec. they are fully aware of what the “bunso” (the youngest, the baby, the cutie-pie of mama) can do…  Normal scenario too of trying to bring in a cup of coffee in a tone of an innocent purring cat. But no. I just can’t let them nor anyone in while I’m at the verge of battling my own demons (he he). It is done to prevent myself from saying something I will super regret, that even  after  a “sit-down” I know way deep down in my heart that it will stick at the very bottom of their memory banks and shoot right through the heart. As I caution myself to say hurtful words to my students, more-so, being a parent and at their age wherein everything counts. I always remind myself of a quotation from my Theories of Personality  class way  back: a picture of a cute but sad girl with a quote “ I may forget what you’ve said, but I will never forget the way it made me feel”.  Youch! and every time I am about to blurt out words in negativity at times to one of my students / to the class, I stop, leave the room and either walk around ( if in school), or in the scenario being a parent, before I succumbed,  I seek the refuge of our bedroom and ether shed tear drops in my utmost emotion or just sit down, breathe and do some things to calm me down. Gush! things parents  do just to, for the sake of, in the name of…..

But as I always say, what matters most is the ability to rise up and regain what seemed lost or almost at the thin line.  I went out of my shell, straight to the kitchen, prepared dinner.  Cold as the burritos wrap I took out from the fridge, my kids  fully aware of course.  It was the expected (I guess) scenario that one will come forward and will say sorry, then the other and the other.  I won’t discuss the matter yet till after the dinner.

The opening line:  my feelings of what had happened and the reasons along with it ( though absolute comprehension was attained, I’m pretty sure) And the ending statement that “ if it happens again… { there goes the treaty… }

A realisation : Had  I not chose the high road, instead of  correcting what was wrongly done, justifying is what will certainly be the goal of a sit-down as I  try to give justice from what I’ve  said/done.   Me , then, becomes the culprit ( see oh see) instead of pointing out ‘the what’s and why’s’  of what had happened. And them? … well… redeemed- as in bailed out…[so-to-speak]. After you allowed your heart pumped that fast out of intense, at the end of it,  no learning whatsoever and resolving the issue is a failure. Eventually, most likely,  the act will strike back again. The “ability to rise up” was, well, unprocessed.   Tough one to battle, but true, necessary, a must.  Our kids evolve on how we treat them.  Everything they manifest, rooted from how we have dealt with them so far.  Hard to admit at times that we are at fault of how they behave. But actually, we initiated that act. I know we never mean to hurt them by dealing with their misbehaviour, but what I’m pointing out is that: no matter how difficult it is, we should rise above it and see right through it as much as possible.  We too, may learn from what we do…believe me.  As my life continues and revolves in many active corners, parenting above all provides me with continuous learning.

“change is inevitable so must  deal with it”. We do our best  to raise good children. Our growing children also are surrounded not only by our mantle of love & protection but with a lot of personalities with  different ways of being brought up by their respective parents.  By seeing right through them,  imagine  you as the them and feel.  This could aid in dealing and at the same time learning of the new things about them everyday as it would be countless. It may give the chance to help  them process the difference of  right and wrong and  while we discover and realise the how’s,   deal with it   with an enhanced technique/strategy not just as a mature person more so as a parent.  Easier said than done huh… As I expressed those points doesn’t mean I am expert and well versed of how to  deal with my kids. No.  IF  so, I should have not had a melt down, but I had and I will still have for sure as any normal mom or parent in this world would experience.   I am just trying to share what I’ve pondered in every accounts and gathered thoughts  about it with a dash of learning being a  teacher,  concoct it with  the objectivity  of being a Psychologist. But don’t get me wrong,  I am a parent in progress too after all. Day after day no matter what.   We  end our days  with a smile, some quirks maybe  and then smile, as we recall the day with them, then afterwards…. a deeeeeeeeeeep sigh…

“Oh well there goes another mommy day!”

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