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{January 20, 2013}   Our Relationship as Parent-Child : NOT “parroting” what parenting is like

I had the usual daily conversation with my kids : my daughter and my 2 sons about a week ago. We always do this “updating” thing in a daily basis, while checking their lessons, notebooks, books, folders, school diary, quizzes, HW .. name it… all laid out. You may call me the 24/7 mom in its “contextual” meaning which I don’t mind since I am comfortable being at the very heart of all my undertakings, so much so is being a Mom in spite of the work loads & other demands (wife, career, woman, person…)
Though, among the everyday chat we had, there was one which I took a note of in my journal that I wish to impart:
But the most that made my efforts worthwhile after all was the thought that they are thankful of what we have. Though at times, I know they want to ask me : the “why’s” like : why do I have to see and check all or almost all…. ;_) is something somehow they have the answer and have understood at the back of their mind, in their subconscious. My daughter stressed out that it’s the relationship- “I am the parent- I provide-you are the child – do your stuff” thing that have dominantly observe with people they come across with. They feel different but not upset nor ashamed that we are not similar. It’s not that we say we have the perfect parent-child relationship~~~ NO no no. Nobody does I’m sure. We had and have all the battles of everyday from the time they wake up until the very least of the details as they about to sleep. But then again, what’s fulfilling with this parenting job is our ability to rise up everyday and still come to manage every pieces of life at the end of each day with love & never to forget the value of respect. It is topped with the “Who’s the Parent & Who’s the Child”. The acknowledgment & recognition of each roles are discovered / learned & realized as we interact everyday. I always recall what my psychology professor said and fully realized & understood since the time I became a parent, that “parents can’t be their child’s best friend” or the BFF as what they call it now. It should always be YOU as the parent and him/her as the child , then along with it is the authority to include all the things you would want your relationship to be like. Tough, strict, too strict, not too strict, cool, not so cool, doesn’t care-busy type etc. But what I am simply saying is that with the acknowledgement comes the roles. What should be done being a mom, a dad, a son, the eldest, the daughter, the youngest, the only one etc. We should all start from where we are and what we have. Clear & well comprehended NOT in a snap but in the everyday interaction. Invested time is the basic tool to discover each one, as love & respect being built along with it and strengthen through time.
Not an easy job. CERTAINLY not. It will utilize at the very least of all you are and all you have, but then, ” Nothing more worthwhile than being a parent and parenting our own children as they never & will never outgrow from it” Right? they will always be our kids and we will always be their parents for life.

So how does that career be more than fulfilling huh? My answer? It is worth the once in a lifetime existence. Anyone can become a parent, but seldom “parent”.

To my three kids, all my love and all that I am. Mom

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